Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
