We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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