Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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