i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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