Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize