david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
