someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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