I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
