when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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