i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
