A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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