This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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