Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
