I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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