I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
