fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
