he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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