Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize