JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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