k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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