sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize