I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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