Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
