covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
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