I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
