never play flip cup with pint glasses
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
