Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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