wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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