Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize