if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
