i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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