He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
