that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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