she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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