I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Randomize
