if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
