you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
