haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
