She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
