jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
