i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
