At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
