She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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