I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
