So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
