The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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