So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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