good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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