Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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