this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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