In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
