Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
