she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
