Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
