her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
