All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
