she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
