We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
