your parents love me but you hate me
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
