Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
